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Nobody’s Girl is a work of Hope.
The author writes in such a way that you resonate on a primordial level. Whether you have experienced trauma or addiction issues or know someone who has. The book speaks to all of us. And we all have experienced painful situations at some point or another. While it deals with some difficult topics the book’s story is written to engage and focus on the positive outcome profited from doing the hard but necessary work to get “to the other side” of any painful issues. After a lifetime of hiding behind multiple facades, personalities, careers, sex, money, drugs, alcohol and false bravado. Her survivor tools fail her. She is faced with having to talk about the truth or die.
Her ability to speak from a recovery stand point; is not only profound for a “newbie” in the recovery process but for a survivor of traumatic abuse it is remarkable. Without having to engage in the hard explicit detail, by detail scenarios, we are able see the application of her newfound tools at work on the PTSD, her addiction and how she found and used the tools to freedom. The book takes us through the process needed for her to find freedom and self-realization in a genuine real sense, that if we talk about it, do the work we can heal and in that process regain hope. Hope is the message. There is relief. Beautifully written and spiritually uplifting.
And Sybil? She is still around because she is a part of me. I couldn’t just leave her out in the ocean. She has a lot of survival skills; she just used them improperly and for the wrong reasons. Now that she has learned some tools for life, she has mostly positive results. It’s called practice for a reason, I practice the spiritual principles and learn from them daily.
She is worthy of sticking around because she sacrificed so much to bring me here. She is after all a survivor. She is quick on her feet, good in crisis, and has stamina and strength. I love her.
I have learned new ways to deal with situations that used to baffle me. Today they do not. Who knew there was a better way? I did not.
I learned to listen to my god, or rather am learning to listen. It’s still very hard for me, and again I have to practice daily. If you would have told me two years ago I’d be meditating, I would have laughed in your face.
I don’t have to run away today because I choose to make good choices. I don’t see with the same eyes, so I won’t choose the same things. I have boundaries. When my sponsor first suggested I get make some, I literally had no idea what she was talking about. I had never had any!
I listened and I learned. Boundaries stop the abuse. Just like that! OMG! How easy it was. Boundaries, beautiful boundaries. I love them.
I can embrace love; I don’t look in the mirror anymore and see an ugly monster. I don’t hide behind Sybil.
To do the work I first had to trust someone. I was given the gift of a sponsor, a person who showed me unconditional love and patience. With the help of that person I was able to see what had actually happened to me as a child in a safe place of acceptance. I was able to step into it, feel it, acknowledge it, talk about it, understand the people involved, and to heal, which freed me.
There are so many ways to heal from PTSD, addiction, and pain. This is what worked for me. Working the Twelve Steps.
I woke up a few nights ago and realized that my entire life I had been looking for me. I thought no one could see me. I was Nobody. Unimportant, invisible, unlovable, unworthy, and untalented.
In that moment, I realized that I had been there all along, in my work. Nobody had been showing herself all the time.
She was present in each photograph, poem, story, painting, sketch, and script. I was there, right there.
My soul revealed through the stroke of a computer key, splash of paint, in the words on the pages of this book, in all my stories. All I had to do was really look at what I created and I finally I saw me. And I cried.
And I was home.