Making a decision to change.

We all have had that moment when we know we have to change but can’t seem to make a move. We’re frozen it seems in a pattern;  we can’t imagine what life will be like if we make “the decision”. I am great at what’s best for “you”. I will go to the ends of the earth to “save” you,  but had no idea how to save me. My life was that I was trained for lack of a better word into a life I really didn’t want. Through the steps I’ve learned so much, unraveled all that old thinking,  came to believe I deserve a good life and became willing to allow it to happen.

Even with the struggles we face daily here (still) my life is amazing, my family is amazing, I guess I could have handled things differently but I chose to work my program through this process. There are many key players in our lives in every thing that happens each day. It’s never just about us.

I can start each day reaffirming my decision to not use today. That starts my day off in a positive direction. Each day for 1,467 days I make that same choice. Some days it’s not whole hearted,  I won’t tell you it is. Some days my addict is yelling in the back ground, hey we’re entitled to….. but I know that old story I had a lot of stuff,  a lot of false friends,  a lot of false high fun,  a lot of sickness,  a lot of emptiness – a lot of soul darkness.

I may feel sad or tired some days but I know it will pass good food good sleep ( love sleeping) the ocean my family and the knowledge that the universe does want me happy it’s how willing I am to allow it. I don’t have to fight to be happy today. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I am amazing and I feel it at some point in the day, I just remind myself I am loved by my higher power and I can always feel that lift my spirits. I choose each day to walk this path share my story no matter what’s going on and staying clean on a daily basis. It’s a daily decision. I see how my family is growing they are more confident today they make healthy choices. We are all living this life with all our personal challenges and triumphs. Building each other up is key not carrying but lending a hand by way of being that example. Have a beautiful day! Keep coming back it works!!