A loving program.
I remember sitting in the meetings my first few weeks I was so angry – why couldn’t “he” just learn to use like me responsibly!!! Hahaa I didn’t take into account that I was sitting there because I had been using just as much as “he” had!!! I didn’t like how happy everyone was I didn’t like how they hugged each other it was all very suspicious lol!!! My addict had a plan just get him cleaned up so we could go back to using “responsibly “. Hahaaaa it’s really funny now. I mean there was a distinctive voice telling me all these things the voice of my addiction. I have it a name, well because it was such a force. As time has gone by that voice and mine are one in the same and we are in recovery. I still admit I don’t want to go to meetings, that I’ll never use again seems unreasonable lol – it’s my addiction- it’s not that I want to use or have any reservations it’s just the reality that my addiction is a part of me that needs abstinence and meetings and working a program help me focus on positive actions eating sleeping, real emotions!
No matter what they are they are real I feel them. Some days I don’t want to face the world it’s true some days I just wanna quit. But the next day I’m the opposite so I hang out through the diversity of my life. If I had to add the days up the scale always tips to the positive – always. I scrolled through the past four years of my ” selfies” the other day and it was a good reminder that in all the photos I’m happy. No matter what was going on I could still smile if even for a minute. That says a lot. All the photos of all the people I’ve shared my new life with we are all happy no matter what!! I love the journey it’s worth it!! I hope you keep coming back!!! Have a beautiful day!! Www.sybilpaige.com