Riding the recovery train to a new life!!!
Wow, life is a wonder, right now my daughter is about to deliver my seventh grandchild any second I’ll get the call !! Now somehow, nothing else matters but this new life about to bless us!! Upswing lol!!
This weekend I was able to turn around several of the harassing situations by simply disengaging. We had our first women’s beach meeting yesterday and it was awesome. Everyone was really grateful as was I. We read step one. Each had areas of our lives in which we are powerless, not just over addiction but life and resonating on the first step with other addicts was affirming in may ways for me. No I am not alone (I sometimes feel I am) we all tend to isolate.
We all had some time in the program I was the youngest. And to hear them share their experience was really good for me. Also good for me was that as a fairly newbie I am still in the steps for everything. I work them as my solution. What I have been feeling due to the assaults was “attacked” and my victim has responded with rage and retaliation. Yup and it has been exhausting.
In my head I have had numerous conversations with the assailants hahahha you know how we can be obsessive compulsive and have these hour long conversations where we put people in their place !!! These are of course one sided conversations! And we always win.
Driving down to the meeting I broke out laughing to myslef at my insanity. Step one, our obsessive compulsive behavior is our disease. The inability TO STOP. I just howled!! Ok, I get it I have been in my disease through this whole thing. I have allowed my disease to get the best of my by throwing me off balance, BIG TIME. I was spinning.
Step one “I am powerless over my disease. It shows itself in every area of my life. Especially when I do not have something to self medicate. My life became unmanageable. I allowed people places and things to disrupt my peace and serenity. I am human.
This week is practicing TRUST in my HP to take care of the things I cannot. Today I await the birth of our new family member and I am so excited she will not have to ever see me loaded ever! Life is good no matter what today I have tools – the steps have gotten me through every past present situation. I do not have to stay a victim today I worked through all that. I am not a little girl anymore getting bullied and abused. I am free of that.Today I am a grandmother 6 times over!! I have a life to be responsible for to teach them the good things in life . No one and nothing is getting in the way of that. Have a beautiful day !! www.sybilpaige.com Get the book !! http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/nobodys-girl-sy…/1124440338…