Freedom from the obsession.
This morning I got to wake up clean and my mind free from mind altering mood altering anything. I sat with my pup and a new kitty that has adopted me and watched the sun rise over the mountain and kiss the ocean and our giant cinder cone in front of the ranch. I thought about this. The whole month has been the hardest of my recovery every level of my life has been affected negatively. I have been under more stress than I have yet and I woke up clean. I am so grateful.
I sometimes feel that my higher power gives me more credit that I deserve by dishing out life issues but somehow I keep turning it over. And you know this is the most amazing thing. I have learned what I can live without. I have learned that money does not fix things. (Maybe broken water heaters) But not the soul. I am broker than I have ever been but feel oddly richer than those that have and are causing my stress. No matter what I still wake up knowing I did the best I could I caused no harm if I did I corrected it right away. I almost felt like giving up may times. Many times. Many many times. LOL!! But here I am still hanging on at times by a thread of hope. But the fact is today I have hope. And no one gets to take that away.
My happiness comes from within. And that can not be touched no matter what anyone does. So I may not understand why things happen or why people do the things they do but I do know this the work I do to help, I offer the words I write that might help another addict a human being who might die if I give yup keeps me going on the really hard days. All that work I do is given freely. Why because someone did it for me. And today I am clean. I cannot give up. Not today. Today I have the ability to get out of self and think about the addict that needs a meeting and people to be there. The addict that calls and only gets a VM. The addict reading this and wonder if getting clean is worth it. My answer – YES. It is worth it. Have a beautiful day, keep coming back!! There is hope even if the one thing you do today is staying clean that is ALOT! Some days its all I can do. Get trough the day. I get through it clean I am a success! Dont quit before thee miracle!! This two shall pass. www.sybilpaige.com the Book : https://www.amazon.com/Nobodys-Girl-Incredible-Finding-Freedom/dp/151448935X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_pdt_img_top?ie=UTF8